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D: 2020-06-28
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173 Union Ave.
Framingham, MA 01702
Phone: 508-875-3106
Toinette Diana Ter Haar

Toinette Diana Ter Haar

Sunday, June 28th, 2020
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Toinette Diana Ter Haar of Newton, MA died on Sunday, June 28, 2020 at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston after a long battle with colon cancer. She was 56 years old.

The daughter of the late John Harry Williams Sr. and the late Isabell Caffee of Coraopolis, PA, Toinette was born in Sewickley Hospital and raised in Coraopolis but always felt a strong bond with California, where she attended college at San Jose State University and lived for several years in Seaside with her uncle the late Jessie Wilson and her aunt Mattie C. Wilson to whom she was very close.

After earning a Juris Doctorate degree from the University of Pittsburgh in 1994, Toinette planned to return to California but her now-husband, Ernst Ter Haar, persuaded her to join him in Boston where she worked for many years as Vice President, Sr. Human Resources Business Partner at Santander Bank, cultivating a large circle of friends to whom she was devoted.

Toinette adored the opera and was frequently in the audience at Boston Lyric Opera and at local simulcasts of Metropolitan Opera performances. An intrepid traveler, she explored many regions of Europe, Central America, and the U.S. - though she regretted never having visited Cuba.

Just a few weeks before her passing,Toinette and Ernst were planning a cross-country road trip with their son Gustav Ter Haar, a recent graduate of Newton South High School. In February, already quite sick, Toinette took Gustav on a college tour to Pittsburgh, Cleveland, and North Carolina.

Her family and friends were the joy of Toinette’s life and she showered all who were lucky enough to know her with extraordinary generosity, irrepressible spirit, and boundless love. She will be deeply missed.

In addition to her husband and son she is survived by her sister Trina Van Story and brother-in-law Don Van Story, her brother John Williams Jr. and sister-in-law Theresa Williams, cousin Teresa Thompson, her father-in-law Jan ter Haar, mother-in-law Tineke ter Haar, brother-in-law Jan ter Haar, and sisters-in-law Helena ter Haar and Sylvia Tervoort.

In light of COVID-19 protocols, a memorial service will take place at a later time.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Toinette’s name can be made to NWH Fund of Newton-Wellesley Hospital nwh-fund or the Foundation for Sarcoidosis Research,

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    A memorial service is planned for a later date.
    173 Union Avenue
    FRAMINGHAM, MA 01702
    Get Directions: View Map | Text | Email
    In lieu of flowers, donations in Toinette’s name can be made to either the NWH Fund of Newton-Wellesley Hospital nwh-fund or to the Foundation for Sarcoidosis Research,


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Private Condolence

Michele ReNee' MartinPerez

Posted at 05:55pm
My heart goes out to Ernst and Gustav on the loss of a wonderful wife and mother. Toni and I have been friends for over 50 years. Class of 1982. I am so blessed and honored we kept in touch and reminisced about our childhood. Especially going in her basement after school and listening to the B-52's and Barry Manilow which we kept secret to most of our friends. Boy did we laugh about those days! I am also thankful that we were able to let each other know how much we loved each other and treasured our friendship. We both we're in the marching band playing the clarinet and played basketball together. I will miss you so much Toni until we meet again my friend Rest in Paradise. Love you girl forever!

Barend van der Meulen

Posted at 04:21pm
Beste Ernst en Gustav,
Van harte gecondoleerd met het verlies van Toinette. Via mijn ouders wisten we van de langdurige ziekte en kregen verhalen door hoe sterk ze was, voor zichzelf en voor anderen. We hebben haar ooit kort ontmoet bij Riekje, maar nooit echt leren kennen. Jullie zullen ongetwijfeld veel warmte terug krijgen van wat ze eerder aan anderen gaf. Mag dat jullie steun geven, in de komende dagen, de weken die volgen, en al die uren daarna dat jullie haar zullen herinneren.
Warme groet,
Ineke en Barend

Ruth Murphy

Posted at 07:27am
Ernest and Gustav our hearts are deeply saddened on the loss of your wife and mother. She was an amazing woman. John has the image of her hanging in the living room of the house done by Ernest. Although we have not seen all of you in quite sometime, we will always treasure the fond moments- daycare, apple picking, great meals.. again our sincere sympathies. John, Jacob and Ruth Murphy

Barbara John

Posted at 07:47pm
I was so lucky that lovely spring day when I saw Toinette and another woman that I knew chatting on the street. I stopped to talk because I was canvassing for some candidate and wanted to aprise both of them of the qualities of the person I was supporting. Toinette was not a member of the Democratic Ward Committee, so I invited her to join. I soon after that had to run an unruly caucus and she greatly helped me and actually became a delegate to go to the Massachusetts convention.
As Toinette and I got closer, she asked me about learning to edit video at NewTV. I know that she wanted to learn this so she could leave videos of herself for her son and husband. She wanted them to have a concrete memory. She never had the chance to learn editing, but together we became partners is making podcasts.
toinette was one of the loveliest, sweetest, most considerate people I have ever know. I grew to love and admire her. She was charming, funny, articulate, and could tell a wonderful story. And she could suffer. She wanted so much to stay alive for both the son and husband that she adored, that she put her biady through numerous procedures and operations, hoping that one would help. She loved her family and was willing to make any humanly possible sacrifice for them.
I miss her. My life is emptier without her. She will live in my heart forever.
I made three videos of Toinette and a podcast. They are on Vimeo and on YouTube. If you go on Vimeo and you can find my account. there are two barbara Johns, I am the teacher one.
Toinette, I was so fortunate to know you.

Caroline Cowette

Posted at 07:11pm
Ernst and Gustav
I was so Blessed to have the extreme fortune of meeting someone as lovely as Toinette.
She was such a kind and loving human being, never complaining.
She loved you both so much and was so proud of Gustav and excited for his future.
Gustav I want you to know that your mother will be there with you every day of your life, Always watching over you.
Please take care of each other because I know Toinette wouldn’t want it any other way.
Love and peace
Caroline Cowette/Newton, Ma.

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